It wasn’t just the depression. It was as if I, my true self, was no longer alive and I was but a shadow of myself. But I couldn’t cry for the death of me. All I could do was wait and hope that she would be resurrected.
My mind, spinning, could barely recollect how it felt to be her. It was as if the darkness had swallowed even my own memory. And yet, I still searched for her in the darkness. I couldn’t just give up looking for her, even amidst the horror of depression.
The picture of her, still framed, sat by my bed reminding me of what she looked like before depression. But in that framed photo was a smile. A remembrance of joy, of feeling. I stared at my reflection in a mirror and was reminded that I had lost the ability to even smile. And so, in a sense, I had lost my true essence.
But how could I give up searching for it? Although I couldn’t embody my true self at that time, I could certainly not give up seeking.
So, I kept that picture by my bed in remembrance of dream. A dream that the lost would surely be found. If only we don’t give up.
Lesson Learned:
There are times when we feel lost and times when we are in fact lost to ourselves by our own doings. But let us not give up on ourselves or on others. Because if we do, we will never know what could have become of true selves.