How to be a friend to someone in despair

In what seems like a lifetime ago, I was a girl hanging off a cliff, wondering if I should just let go or hold on. This is how it felt to be on the verge of death and yet still be breathing. This is how it felt to be alive and yet sinking.

This was despair.

Oxford Dictionary describes despair as “the complete loss or absence of hope.”

Hope is that thing we might cling to in our darkest hour.

But what happens when it seems there is nothing to hope for or no way of sensing hope?

That is when friendship steps in as a reminder of hope.

Being a hope to someone barely holding on may seem unachievable.

But here is how to be that friend to someone in despair:

Be the reason they look forward to something

When you are in the trenches, it’s hard to find any comfort. But you can be the reason someone gets out of bed that morning. You can be that comfort simply by being there for someone who is hurting.

It doesn’t take much. Most of the time it just takes a listening ear or a body near.

Tell them your story

Sometimes, it doesn’t help. But sometimes it helps to have someone who has gone through something similar tell you how they overcame; how they found life again. Someone near me once did this and it helped to have someone there who understood my suffering.

Tell them it won’t last forever

This was a big one. When everything seems to take so long, when the pain seems too hard, it helps to have someone there to bring you back to the middle and tell you that like everything else, in time, this too shall pass.

Care

Simply care is hard to come by. But care is what people need when they are suffering. Is it pleasant for the one caring? Probably not. But if you have the opportunity to care for someone who is hurting, you will find that that is the greatest gift you could ever give. And you may even find that it was a gift given to you as well.

Be the hope they need to keep going

You can be that hope for a person struggling. When you can do these things, someone suffering can see the light in you. And it just may be your very light that helps them make it through.

What do you think? Let me know if this inspired you in the comments!